I've been having a rough day...a rough two weeks to be exact. I knew my first year teaching wouldn't be a cake walk, but it's so entirely different and more challenging than student teaching. It's been seven weeks. Some days are wonderful (filled with laughter and enlightenment), while other days are not so wonderful (wanting to pull my hair out stressful and disappointing). I remember one of my credential teachers describing the profession as a roller coaster...the highest highs and the lowest lows. I totally get it now.
Anyways, I somehow managed to drag my tired behind to yoga class and am so grateful I did! Our theme tonight was opening to grace (Anusara's first principal of alignment). It was a perfect theme to reflect on my rough two weeks. I walked out of class with a renewed sense of what it means to maintain my intention while giving in (opening) to grace. My incredible teacher (and friend), EN, described the idea of opening to grace as analogous to swimming in a rip tide. If you direct all of your efforts into swimming against the current and towards the shore, your mind/body will become exhausted. If you totally give in to the current you will be swept out to sea. Once you accept the current, swim in a direction that does not altogether contest or surrender to the rip, you may be free. In putting forth effort (swimming) while accepting the support of grace (the rip) you may recognize infinite possibilities.
This balance of effort and accepting grace isn't merely a tantric yoga philosophy. It's a daily practice of doing the best we can...all the while understanding that we have the support of this great universe (grace) to guide us. Here's hoping I can remember all of this during sixth period tomorrow!
image via mary ruffle
I know you're working hard and from the stories I hear, I know it's frustrating at times. But I'm certain your students appreciate all that you bring to their days and education. It will get better, I'm sure. There will continue to be the highs and lows, but they'll become familiar and you'll probably be able to recognize the lows before they are able to have the greatest impact. I have no doubt that you're going to be (and already are) a tremendous teacher and inspiration. And if EN is reading this, I can only commend you for how much you've brought to SW's life; she's constantly gushing about you.
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